Datelife NYC by: Liza J. Kaplan

Dating is tough for a gal in the city

Cuz brains aren't enough and most guys just ain't pretty.

So let's get down to details both nitty and gritty,

And you'll see that it needn't always seem so shitty.

Though most guys aren't cute,

The numbers are ample

And it's less overwhelming to start with a sample.

So let's check out some options on becoming a twosome.

(And if that doesn't work you can always just screw some)

With a click and a drag of your mouse you'll find guys,

Though some things are better off left to surprise.

As he sheds off his screenname of BigJew4You,

You choke back the tears as you try not to spew.

He's a bit of a freak, it is sad but it's true,

But the real horror is that you know you're one too.

So to see if your true personalities mesh,

It's safer to meet face to face, in the flesh.

When you discover there're choices there's always speed-dating,

Some guys are exciting, while some leave you hating.

But it's all in good fun with the prospect of mating,

It can be quite interesting. Translation: degrading.

Though there are many men on the streets of New York,

He might not keep kosher, aka-he eats pork,

But unless you are ready for a wedding and a stork,

You'll be lucky to find one who knows how to fork.

Though it sometimes feels hopeless, that just isn't so,

Remember that each trial helps you to grow,

So until your Prince Charming rides in on that horse,

Enjoy the adventure though it may seem off course.

Still it's true that dating is often quite scary,

Some young guys are bald, while others are hairy.

Neither of which you are dying to marry,

'Specially if he's 'friends' with a Tom, Dick or Larry.

So beware of speed dating and the internet site,

And believe me dear ladies, I too take this plight,

So until you should stumble upon Mr. Right,

Happy Dating to all, and to all a good fright!

25 Facts About Me

25 facts about me:

1. My right hand is always coolder than the left one, no matter what
2. I have eaten a bowl of cereal before I went to bed since I was 5, and now I can't fall asleep without doing so
3. I also can't fall asleep without my ipod on, the entire night. If it goes off accidently, I wake up
4. I'm probably more afarid of high school than base jumping or sky diving
5. I'm addicted to the computer to the point where it kind of scares me...
6. My favourite flowers are sunflowers (and nobody has ever given me some)
7. I really want to find a guy like in the movies, but I have a feeling I have already met him
8. If I lay down in the moonlight, I fall alseep 3x faster than in the dark
9. I'm really doubting the fact that I can come up with 25 interesting facts about myself right now...
10. I want to learn how to play 2 instruments at once
11. (back to fact 6) sunflowers are the only things non-human that will make me smile instantly when I see them
12. I really really hate my hair (I don't know if that qualifys as 1 of the "25 facts"...but I do...I really do! I really wish, sometimes, I could burn it all of and it'd grow back differently)
13. I love going to the theatre with a guy, and acually watching the movie
14. popcorn bothers the shit out of me (don't ask me why)
15. I am probably the pickest person, when it comes to food, that you will ever meet. that's why I barely go to restraunts that I've never been to before
16. I love making people laugh and I love laughing myself
17. I am EXTREMLY shy around new people. If i'm in a room with people I don't know, I will be totally quiet and not myself
18. I probably listen to music more than I breath air
19. I love listening to people's problems and helping them solve it
20. Horror movies and black lights MAKE MY FREAKIN' LIFE
21. I am EXTREMLY ticklish, but seemed to have mastered the art of 'not laughing when tickled' no one can seem to figure it out :P
22. I want to go bowling. like right now. somebody take me!
23. Oh yeah, I can't bowl very well, but I really don't care how stupid and retarded I look when I do because it's the most fun I usually have with friends. (p.s. so take me bowling!)
24. I'd rather my friend call me 'retard' or 'loser' than 'hun' or 'baby'
25. wow, this is fact #25. I DID IT! I DID IT! WOOO! [ oh, I just wasted my last fact :( ] .....

26. so...I've decided the 25 facts weren't good enough for me
27. I hate the winter. I am not made for the winter. I will always complain about the winter.
28. ironic how my favourite sport is skating (with man-skates bitches!)
29. I love staying up really really late, like i'm talking, 4 in the morning late
30. watching movies while sitting on a couch with one other person will always calm me down and make me feel comfortable (whether i'm near them or not)
31. Simple things make me the happiest
32. I love to travel, even though I have never been out of ontario
33. I swear to god I have some sort of A.D.D.
34. I like to facinate people, so I hope I do and did :)
35. No, no you don't a fact #35. You're not that special to me......

36. Okay so I totally take that back. You mean a lot to me! :)
37. I never know when to quit (can't ya tell?)
38. I do not judge anyone untill I have met them, talked to them for at least 10 minutes, and seen them again
39. I'm no girlie-girl. I love getting dirty! (and no you freaky hormonic teenagers, I mean sport wise like ATVing, hiking, dirt-biking, and kickboxing)
40. my favourite key, on the keyboard, is, the, comma ( , , , , , , , , , , , , , )
41. I have nothing left to say, but if you ask me, 100% guarentee that I will

Facebook > Honesty Box Is For Pure Idiots

Have YOU ever been hassled on your Facebook Wall or worse, Honesty Box? Where the person is too much of a coward to show their identity to you, and for all you know you're getting bitched at and argued with by you best friend.

Honesty Box is honestly (no pun intended) the stupidest app. Facebook could of ever created!

- My Opinion.

Recently, I've been getting hassled on my Facebook > Honesty Box.

When I asked this person, who I have been calmly trying to stop him from messaging me, "why are you hiding behind Honesty Box and just come out and say these things to my face?" He replied with this: "If you don't want people hiding behind Honesty Box, don't have one."

--> Which on some levels are true. 

But it still doesn't explain why they have chosen to harass me on the Internet, while concealing their identity as well. Obviously, they do not want me to know who they are, and they have used that fact, that I have no clue who it is, in the argument, many times. Braggin' rights, ya know? Makes you feel like you have more power.

It's foolish and childish and immature to yell at/bitch out/argue with some one on Facebook > Honesty Box. 

Please understand this people!!

It basically shows that you do not have enough guts to come out and say these things to the person's face. You would rather choose to hide away with the protection of Honesty Box

So...

DO US ALL A FAVOUR FACEBOOK:

Delete Honesty Box!

....cause I can't seem to find the button where you go to delete the app. off your profile and i've been having some trouble with that and it's very difficult, so yeah. >:/